NEW YORK (AP) 鈥 One week into a new job, Lisa Grouette discovered something missing come Sunday night: the sinking feeling of dread she used to experience before going to work every Monday.
Groutte spent 10 years at an insurance agency with a boss whom she alleges screamed at her, slammed his hands on the desk, insulted her appearance and punched things. He falsely accused her of taking money and threatened to withhold an employment recommendation , she says.
Fearing she wouldn鈥檛 if she left the , she stayed. 鈥淚t was this implied, 鈥榊ou鈥檙e stuck,'" Grouette, 48, recalled.
But eventually, she found a way out. When a full-time job opened up at a newspaper where she worked a part-time photography job, she resigned from the insurance agency. The new position paid $400 less per month, but Grouette reduced her expenses to .
鈥淵ou can't put a price tag on it,鈥 she said. "It was the best 400 bucks a month I've ever spent, worth every penny. I was a little tight at first, but it didn't matter because I was happy.鈥
Growing intolerance of toxic behavior
As increases, so are conversations about about what constitutes unhealthy behavior and the kinds of treatment people will not 鈥 or should not 鈥 tolerate for a steady paycheck.
鈥淲e鈥檙e developing language now around things like toxic workplaces,鈥 said Jennifer Tosti-Kharas, a professor of organizational behavior at Babson College in Massachusetts.
Younger generations entering the workforce, including and members of , are less willing to endure from colleagues and managers, and better at establishing boundaries, she said.
At the start of her own career, 鈥渋f I encountered toxicity in the workplace, I had more of a 鈥楽uck it up鈥 attitude," said Tosti-Kharas, who identifies as a member of . 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think we were as vocal about taking care of our mental health as we should have been.鈥
How do you identify a toxic work environment?
Conflicts and difficult relationships may be inevitable in any work environment. But there's a difference between an occasional disagreement and persistent abuse.
鈥淲hat makes something toxic: it鈥檚 more pervasive, more consistent over time,鈥 Tosti-Kharas said. 鈥淵ou may have tried some things and it鈥檚 not getting better. ... It鈥檚 very deeply entrenched.鈥
Possible indications of an emotionally harmful workplace include a widespread lack of trust and fear of being shot down if you speak up, she said.
Loud screamers aren't the only kind of toxic co-workers and supervisors. There are quieter forms of toxicity, such as passive-aggressive behavior by leaders who use sarcasm, backhanded compliments, indirect criticism and exclusion to control their employees, according to Alana Atchison, a clinical psychologist based in Chicago.
鈥淚t is a relationship where you can鈥檛 communicate clearly or directly, so you have to silence yourself. You can鈥檛 say truly what you need to say and feel safe,鈥 Atchison said.
To spot a potentially toxic environment when applying for a new job, follow your gut instincts and consider warning signs. For example, frequent ads for the same position may reflect high turnover resulting from a negative environment. You can also search employee reviews online.
鈥淚鈥檓 reading Glassdoor reviews like crazy to see what the environment is like, what the culture is like, on anyplace I鈥檓 applying to, because I can鈥檛 lose my hair again over a job,鈥 said Grouette, who recently was laid off after several successful years at the newspaper.
What might explain toxic behavior?
When on the receiving end of toxicity, consider whether the offending behavior says more about the person perpetuating it than the recipient.
鈥淚t鈥檚 almost like a smokescreen to hide their deficits,鈥 Atchison said. 鈥淚f someone feels insecure about their role or fears being overshadowed, they might resort to undermining others, gossiping or sabotaging projects to regain a sense of control or safety.鈥
Since the COVID-19 pandemic, Atchison's clients have increasingly complained about . She attributes that in part to the social isolation that accompanied lockdowns and restrictions on public activities.
鈥淪ocializing is a skill set, and that skill set has declined," she said.
Voice your concerns
If you find yourself in a toxic work situation, talking about it with a trusted friend or professional therapist can help you process what is happening and develop a plan to deal with it, instead of letting it fester in your mind.
Stephanie Strausser, 42, a video production manager, said she sought support from friends and family members when she worked under an extreme micromanager who made her feel unsafe and whose decisions she considered unethical.
鈥淒on鈥檛 hide it or keep it in. Talk to people. Even if you鈥檙e talking to ChatGPT," Strausser advises those who find themselves in similar circumstances. "Don鈥檛 internalize it. And don鈥檛 take someone鈥檚 perception as fact.鈥
Amanda Szmuc, a Philadelphia lawyer who considers some of her past work environments to have been toxic, recommends documenting your concerns in case it becomes necessary to escalate them.
Writing down the details of troubling interactions as they happen and keeping copies of inappropriate messages or approved meeting recordings may come in handy if the human resources department gets involved, for example.
Maintaining a record may also help you avoid and reinforce your determination to protect yourself.
Set boundaries
If leaving a toxic environment isn't financially possible or you want to try to make your circumstances more bearable, think about exploring ways to with the difficult party may be an option.
Possibilities may include negotiating a role that puts distance between you and the toxic person, such as working different shifts or on different projects, Tosti-Kharas said.
You can also set deadlines for yourself to keep things from deteriorating, according to Szmuc. Examples: 鈥淚鈥檓 going to give this two weeks. Is there any improvement?鈥 she said. 鈥淚s there a way internally where I can maybe change my circumstances or get someone else鈥檚 opinion?鈥
Find a way out
Ideally, an employee who feels mistreated could appeal to someone from human resources or the offending employee's manager with evidence to show a pattern of conduct violations and disciplinary action would be taken, Tosti-Kharas said.
But that doesn't always happen, leaving the reporting party in close proximity with the person they reported. 鈥淚n the real world, you may realize they are unlikely to go anywhere, and it鈥檚 you who has to go somewhere,鈥 Tosti-Kharas said.
In extreme situations, it's best to look for another job, she said.
If an inspector found radon in your house, 鈥測ou wouldn't say, 鈥楲et me try to work with the radon,鈥 or 鈥楬ow can I keep it there but maybe lessen the effects?鈥欌 she said. 鈥淵ou would get the toxin out of the situation or you would get yourself out of the situation.鈥
Most people can't afford to leave their jobs without another one lined up. Carving out time to apply for different jobs is difficult when you feel under assault but also is empowering and may lead to a better situation.
鈥淚f somebody gives you an impression that you鈥檙e not able to leave this job, that鈥檚 just not true,鈥 Grouette said. 鈥淭hose sorts of people don鈥檛 have the reach or respect that they claim to have, because if they鈥檙e volatile to you, they鈥檙e volatile to others.鈥
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